This can be a problem for many people - even the most surprising ones. You'd be amazed how many glossy super shiny people, who seem to have everything taped, are actually quaking in their boots. 

Then there are the nightmare work colleagues who are always on your back and never happy with what you're doing and even come over a bit aggressive - we've all experienced that! Maybe they are behaving like this for reasons unknown to you; but also they may not know the difference between aggression and assertiveness. It's an important distinction and one that will have a big impact on how you present yourself, especially if you are a leader. 

Have a think about what it means to you.

Sometimes people think that if you are assertive you are pushy, and bolshie, and getting above yourself, and other thoughts along the same lines. I'm sure you can think of plenty more.

A good way to approach the meaning is to contrast it with the idea of aggressiveness on the one hand and submission on the other.

It's easy to think that aggressiveness consists of doing anything you can to put yourself first and get what you want. And on the other hand, that submission is quite the reverse. This is where you behave in ways that don't get you what you want but allow other people to have what they want without thinking about you. Submission is not a nice place to be!

Assertiveness is the best of both worlds. It is simply to state your position, unemotionally, firmly, confidently, and resolutely, without causing any sorrow or distress to others. It is based on the belief that it is all right to have what you want, and that you are worthy of being listened to. So, it is linked to self-esteem and confidence.

It's not about dominance, power, overcoming others and getting what you want, no matter what the effect on other people. It's about standing in your own truth, firmly in your own place and stating just how things are.