As a coach I've become very sensitive to words and questions. The other day I was thinking again about that deceptively simple little question ' What do you want to have happen?' This seemingly innocuous little question hides a lot of complexity. I've noticed that many people, especially women, don't actually know what they want as they are so bound up in looking after and helping other people. Often they don't even know that you CAN want something, that it is OK to long for and to express your own purpose. It's much easier to say what we DON'T want, yet that doesn't move us forward much. 

Another one that I particularly like is from Star Wars ( personally I'm more of a Trekkie, but this is a good saying!). Yoda, when training Luke Skywalker, says to him, 'Do, or do not, there is no try.'  How often do we say, 'Well, I'll try....' and actually this is full of doubt and gives permission to fail whilst claiming the credit of attempting the task. Obviously we don't get everything right first time but if we let this little word loose inside our heads we might as well tie our shoelaces together!

One more tiny little word that can change everything is BUT. It has the effect of negating what comes before. So if you say, 'I really want to run my own business and work for myself BUT I don't know how to do it/I might go bust/ nobody will buy/it costs a lot of money', and so forth then you are hampering yourself before you start. 

Try a little experiment - whenever you nearly say BUT, say AND instead. See what a difference it makes.