Bad things have been happening in 2020 and 2021, and this can be very, very hard. In such times it's tempting to focus on what's gone wrong, what's difficult and what we're struggling with. 

 

Yet there is a huge body of research that tells us that even in the midst of difficulty, we can be thankful and grateful for the many good things that are still there, and that this orientation towards gratitude is good for us. Here's just one reference, with twenty pages of further sources. I'm not suggesting you read it all, just that this is a robust observation! 

 

We can be grateful for even very small things too - the robin I can see in the tree outside, the excellent coffee I have just enjoyed, the comfort of good shoes.

 

Can you think of three things that you are grateful for, in the noise of everyday life? 

It may seem paradoxical, but there is much truth in the saying 'it is better to give than to receive'. Certainly it's good to receive, with gratitude, yet giving too is good for you. We enjoy the enjoyment of others as well as our own, and it is good to do caring things for those we are close to. 

 

I've been interested to note the growth of what's becoming known as 'the gift economy' where exchange is based on informal gift-giving rather than on exchange of commodities with a defined monetary value. 'The emphasis in a gift exchange is on strengthening the bond between the givers and receivers', as you can read here, and this is part of what helps a community to flourish. Gifts do not have to be 'stuff'; they can be service, or just your time, maybe phoning a person who'd be glad to hear from you.

 

We have seen a lot of giving in our ongoing Covid crisis, and it's most heart-warming. 

 

How did you feel about the last gift you gave, or received? What else could you give?

I know I sometimes watch too much TV news - there's a horrid fascination that almost compels me to keep looking at the latest Covid statistics, and it's very definitely not good for me.

 

We do tend to be drawn to bad news; it's been said that we are like Teflon for good news and Velcro for bad! Perhaps from an evolutionary point of view that was originally to do with helping us survive, but it has its downside. 

 

If we know about this bias we can be careful and deliberate in how we access our news. For myself I try to limit myself to two news bulletins a day and I skip the lunchtime news. Another thing that helps is to actively seek good news - and there always is some, just as there's always something to be grateful for. Here's a good place to get some good news, and maybe you can find some more.